The days are all monotonous,
a structure I don’t own
I want to scream NO! out loud
I want to be alone.
I have exercises I must do,
and tablets I must take.
The world would surely end today.
If this routine I was to break.
I have control of one small thing.
What I put inside of me.
I count every single calorie,
and avoid sugar in my tea.
Sometimes the calories are too much
when someone else would choose to cook.
I have found a way to deal with it,
in the toilet I would puke.
I dare not tell my family,
they would think it very sad.
Then they would take control of this,
and that would make me mad.
This is a little secret ,
with others we must not share.
They would say it is an illness,
and make us seek some medical care.
You may sometimes feel similar,
getting frustrated all the time.
You might have a different ways of coping
or it might be the same as mine.
Some people choose to cut themselves
it gives them a release.
It gives them back some control
and their frustration……it helps to cease
People do not understand,
it something we must do.
It helps us take back control,
and stops us feeling blue.
My life it seems is spiralling,
out of all control
I feel I am an actor
acting out a scripted role
Written by Jerri42
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